Flirting Is Cheating

If you’re in a relationship and either you or your partner flirt with someone else, it can be a tricky situation. On one hand, it’s not like anyone did anything physical to be construed as cheating, but on the other hand, it’s not nothing. Depending on your relationship, you and your partner’s boundaries, and other factors, flirting can still potentially cause a lot of pain and hurt.

Flirting is cheating because it’s breaking a boundary within a committed relationship. In a committed relationship, we agree to give certain parts of ourselves to our partner. When we’re flirting, we’re giving sexual interest and attention that only our partner should get, but we’re giving it to somebody else.

Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash

things that are categorized as cheating

• You’re afraid to tell your partner about the person you’re flirting with. You’ve probably started to cross the line when you fear telling your significant other.
• You go to the other person for emotional support and connection. If you’ve been flirting with a coworker or friend for months but it’s all been surface-level conversations, you’re fine — flirt away. But when you begin to go to that person for emotional support and connection, rather than your partner, you have crossed the line from flirting to emotional cheating.
• You tell them things your partner doesn’t even know. If you begin to disclose and reveal things about yourself that you’ve never told your partner with that other person, that’s emotional cheating. Maybe you feel drawn to the person you’re flirting with because they meet some kind of need your partner doesn’t.
• You find yourself thinking about the other person when you’re with your partner. If your body is with your partner, but your mind is with someone else, then you’re likely heading into dangerous territory. That said, it’s totally fine to have feelings of attraction toward someone else, so long as you can fight them off. It’s when you can’t fight them off and they preoccupy you, then you have to decide what to do with that.

How do you set boundaries within a relationship?

Here are some steps you can take to establish boundaries about what does and does not constitute cheating.

• Get specific. Is DM’ing someone socially that you’re attracted to OK? What about having a coffee alone with a coworker? Is it different if it’s dinner? Is texting an ex allowed?
• Prepare to committed. Different people have different personalities.Therefore before starting a relationship, we must get to know each other. After knowing the limits, we must be ready to hold onto that commitment.